I am now away furthering my educational significance in the world, one step at a time; Hence the title of this here blog.(Yeah, I am still in South Carolina in my mind, even though I am now back in VA.) I was forced to leave mi amor behind so for my education, the ONLY reason I even stayed home that long. He is LITERALLY the only person that I have thought twice about going out of state for a college education.
That being said, I must bite the pill and endure: "We shall overcome!"
I am sort of fighting off text lingo, terrible and SOOO not my style I am fully aware, but it has become increasingly difficult to cope without him. Not to mention our schedules are so otu of wack, with him always busy with school, his son(did I not mention that?), and his army life; and my life around classes, right now the greek play, clubs and organizations, and numerous other leadership roles, opportunities and pressures that come with this type of college.
I think the only REAL time that I was just pissy with him, and we have been dating for four months now(hell no we do not celebrate monthly aniversaries, too much to remember) was the LAST night that I was home. He left his phone at work so he was unable to reach me. But we had planned a night out with each other all week, he even called me earlier that day to make sure our plans were etched in stone. So, he felt that it would be rude to not show up just because he didn't have his cellular device, and yes I spelled it out and what. I am like this, and yes I chewed his ass out about this so everything that I tell you was told to him; if we have plans, fuck calling, just show up.
SO WHAT IF YOU COME "UNANNOUNCED?"
I was expecting you, as was everyone else in my household. Yes my mother loves him, so his showing up is a non-factor in the "who does he think he is?" department. So I was having panic attacks and what not, afraid for him, afraid for his son, afraid for his mother, all of that. He called once I got up here and explained his ass, which of course was still a little pissable. But all is well, he just has to kiss my ass, literally when he sees me in October.
I HAVE THE ASS A MAN WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH, yes his words exactly.
Oh trust he will get a chance to do JUST that.
Anywho
So now I am a couple of states above him, doing my own little thing, not on the side of course; he has me stuck. Let my friends tell it anyway. I think that they are right, because this is SO not my usual self; they know just about everything about him that a friend should know, I prefer to be private so this is a HUGE step for me. I am just growing increasingly afraid of THAT possible outcome. This is becoming more and more new to me, that I am starting to lose the ground from beneath me. I am flying so high, and I don't want to come down. Not because it's scary to fall and have to start all over again, but because the possibility to have to start with someone that is NOT him is too hurtful to even attempt to comprehend......and so I stop.
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