Glad That's Over

From the title, I am pretty sure that you all are assuming that my love life is in a stand-still: You are wrong.
What is meant by the title is that the infactuation part of this entire process, and please feel free to say that I am wrong for using the word "process," is pretty much over. Not that I did not love that time period, because the high of that phase is like no other that I have experienced thus far, but I am about major things. My life is in a current uphill battle with myself, and I cannot allow for a "cute" phase to stay intact for more than it should. My apologies for lack of "lovey-dovey" feelings, but the bus stops here. Now this is not to say that I am going to put pressure on the relationship, because I do not want to even become wedded until I am at least 25 years of age, which is WELL off into my future, but the games as far as who I am clearly with or who has my attention are officially gone. Sure I am a person who likes attention secretly, hence the name of my blog, but I will no longer prepare actions that will jeopardize my new found relationship with this beautiful man of mine. As of now the side figures that played an outside role in this thing no longer exists. I say played a role because they were always in the back of my mind as a "OK, if He and I do not work out, I will start back messing around with him, and have this guy as a little dip on the side." I am no longer having other men in the background because, as I said in my blog "When Is It Love," I will be devastated if this thing were to end. I honestly can say that for the first time in my life, the guy that I am with makes me turn my head when I see an attractive man. Sure I check him out a tad.............but since my man is not with me, I no longer hold the gaze. I find myself breaking the stare, alleviating all possible feelings, pulls, or ties to that stranger, for I know that will lead to destruction. I am no longer willing to strain the relationship, because I know in my soul that it is not worth the man that I am now learning to adore. I say adore because you have to adore someone to be in love with that person. Not to necessarily say that I love him, on that level, but if you were to ask me about him I would not hesitate to smile and talk you to death. If you ask my friends, I do love him, and by the way he behaves in regards to me---let's just say that my job is done without lifting a figure. In fact, when the officers at boot camp---he's in the army---took his phone, before he got off he slipped and said "I love you." Now I know it was a mistake, but that gives you insight into what and how he is feeling. I must say, I love it very much indeed. As we build this thing, and I continue to refer to it as a "thing" because I have no clue where this is going, I know for a fact that each of us will give it our all. No matter if it be a joke, an emotional turning point, or getting into each others' minds, thoughts, and feelings. For us, just thinking about something is not enough. We want to know why and how we are thinking about this something. I want to be his diary, and he wants to be mine.
I am listening to ALICIA KEYS---DIARY, by the way ;)
I don't even wonder if he feels the same way, for I know he does. It takes getting out of that "cute" phase to fully understand a person and their personal intentions, let alone attempt to do such. My entire life has been surrounded by relationships either flawed, or destroyed by weak foundations. I am ready to rewrite the script for my future, and it starts with me.