I am entering my Junior Year of College, and a world of anxiety is on my shoulders. I have to worry about finding a job in an economy that is getting worse by the minute. I have to figure out whether or not I will enter graduate school right out of undergraduate school or enter the work force with a gap year. I have to figure out which school I want to attend, and whether or not taking classes online is best for me since I need money now. I have so many ideas, but none of them are etched in stone so anything can happen.
But what worries me most is my growing distant relationship with my family.
I have noticed that every time I return "home" from school, I grow increasingly antsy because I just don't want to be here anymore. I have found that my family is not on the same level as I am. Not that I am higher, but that we are no longer compatible. I find that strange because for my entire life I had no problem relating with my cousins, who are like siblings because we grew up together, but now I get agitated by them for them not thinking, or saying, what I want them to. I go to school in an entire different state that has a multitude of people who at my school alone who range from loads of different backgrounds. Most of them are well-to-do, and have a world of experience. I come from a place where that does not happen. I was the exception in my family. My parents made sure their children visited places that were outside of the bullshit that surrounded them on a daily basis. I always felt that there was a distance between myself and family, because my aunts and uncles barely did that, but not this distance has been magnified because those cousins are basically stuck here in OB, SC. The ones that left I can relate to much better, I guess because they put themselves in other places and took initiative.
Maybe this anxiety is natural, because those who never leave, don't know a difference either way I guess...EPIPHANY!
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